WORD to your problems

I have had the honor of teaching the Wednesday night adult class at church for several weeks now. This has been happening even while I was finishing up my internship (and my degree--hallelujah!), and I have needed to overcome some serious mental and emotional stresses to be able to share.

Things did not go as expected during my internship. They all ended up well, but there were points where I wasn't sure if it was even worth finishing. It was even traumatic at a couple points.

At possibly the worst time in the experience, when I was ready to throw in the towel, crawl under the house, and sleep the world away, I had to teach on a Wednesday night.

I didn't know how I was going to be able to do it. I was struggling so much, but I'd been given a word from God through my pastor the previous Wednesday night. The word began with an acknowledgement of things I'd been through in the past, things I'd tried and failed at, things I'd never mentioned to anyone. They weren't major things, but they were significant to me--especially since I don't talk about them. Those things seemed petty in the grand scheme of things. But the word given to me that night started with God saying that they weren't petty to Him.  It was an eye-opening way of saying "Hey, before you hear what I'm going to say, you need to REALLY understand that this is ME--God, and I KNOW you."

What followed was a confirmation that I have been called to teach the Word, and that God had given me a special mantle for understanding and explaining the Word. God knew me, and had appointed me to be what I was and meant that I should know it in a very real way.

I had to deny the mental and emotional mess I was in and reject what the "evidence" around me was saying. To do this, I NEEDED that word from God. I had to know (and hold on to that knowledge) that God was happy with who I was and what I had accomplished (so far). It was one of the most difficult struggles I've gone through to date. Interestingly enough, I had also taught on rehearsing God's truths to "transform us through the renewing of our minds" that same week, so I had a bit of a pride issue going on: You know--"you just told all of them how you're supposed to get through this kind of thing, so did you believe it or were you just blowing 'pretty words' out there to sound good?"

Well, I did believe what I'd said. So I grabbed tight to it and plunged in. I got my Bible out and began studying for the lesson I was going to share that night, and within 15 minutes, I felt a supernatural peace flood through me. It was beyond my understanding. My problems were still there. I still had to deal with everything, but it was okay. I was in my "God place."  I shared all this that Wednesday night.

The next week started out well, but gradually the weight of the problems I was facing drew me down. It wasn't as bad this time, but that's like saying "he only knock out my teeth this time." The thing was, I still had that word from God, and this time, I had an experience to hold on to as well--God met me where I was, showed me that He cared, and did it in a way that showed He knew what I'd need before I needed it.

I got a call that Wednesday night to teach again. I laughed out loud. God was apparently trying to teach me something.

The same thing happened again. Not as profoundly this time, but that doesn't make it any less amazing.  I did need as much this time, but God still showed up. (Hello awesomeness!)

I have been teaching every week since, and SOMETHING crazy has happened either through the week or (for the past two weeks) something happened on Wednesday starting at about 3 PM. Two weeks ago, I was doing great. All was well, and then, around 2:30/3:00 I suddenly had a MASSIVE headache, dizziness, and exhaustion. I got home from picking up my kids from school, and hit the bed.
I woke up at about 5:30, and the first thing I thought of was "I have to teach tonight!" (Church starts at 6:30) "who can I get to cover?" But I didn't WANT someone else to cover. I truly LOVE to share God's Word.
Then I remembered the weeks that God met me when I had problems, and I decided that before I called someone else to do the class, I was going to give God the opportunity to do physically what He had done mentally/spiritually.

He did. By the time I got to church, I felt so much better, and by the end of church that night, I felt fine.

This week (LOL) At about 3, a little cough I'd been dealing with got suddenly worse, and I nearly lost my voice.  I was at a bit more than a whisper.

So, I went to my Bible and started studying. . . . . and nothing. I could be heard, but it was pretty rough. But I wasn't about to give up without a try. So I figured that I would just go, and if they couldn't hear me, or it was too unpleasant to listen to, someone else could share.

I shared, they listened, and it was good.  God didn't heal me, or do some supernatural intervention in my heart, but He DID let a guy with almost no voice, talk for an hour and share His word anyway.

A couple of people said it was one of the best messages they'd heard in a while. That, my friends, is ALL God.

Just thought I'd share. ;)