Day is done. . .

Well, I'm closing the book on another chapter of my life. I have finished my internship and turned in my last assignment. I'm just waiting for confirmation from my teacher that all is acceptable and I'm done.

It's kind of strange. I can't even begin to describe how glad I am that it's finally finished (Lord willing). But this has been a major focal point of my life for nearly five years now--this has been my "reality."

I find it difficult to trust the feeling of freedom that I want to feel right now. Something in the back of my head keeps whispering, "You don't need to get comfortable. As soon as you think you can relax, something else is going to jump up and require your undivided attention."

But here's the thing: I came into this whole "Go to school/Become a teacher" thing because I believed that God was calling me here. I STILL believe that this whole journey was God's plan. (I have learned so much about myself, and GOD, that I would gladly have gone through it all for just that). I went into this with the attitude that just because God was calling me to the Education program (Teaching Degree), that didn't mean He was necessarily going to call me to be a teacher. I was pretty sure that was what He had in mind, but He has thrown me some curve balls in the past (and I'm okay with that), but I wanted to make sure that I kept in mind that He might have other things for me to get out of the experience--other than getting a degree.

And I have gained much.
I have struggled through this process. Many times I came very close to quitting. I'm talking about standing in front of the Admin building ready to walk in and resign, email typed and ready to send, phone in hand number dialed and . . .  you get the idea.  I have been stressed to the point of illness. And I've questioned God's plan for me in this over and over.
Many times I decided that God couldn't want me to teach, so WHY should I finish this, only to have God re-kindle a passion for connecting with students or some other thing. (He repeatedly gave me what I needed to hold on "just a little bit longer.")

I finished this thing. And there is something REALLY significant about pushing through difficulties and completing a thing.

I had a chance to work in both the public schools and in the private schools, and I have come to a conclusion: I don't want to teach in a school.

As I have learned how to be a better teacher (and student), I have applied what I learned in my Christian walk. This includes the time I spent teaching the Tweens in Sunday school, and moved into the opportunities I've had teaching the adults on Wednesday nights.

I've opened up new things in my own Bible studying and been able to share those things in a way I didn't even know was possible a few years ago. I've learned so much about how to communicate with a purpose, that has helped me deliver a message that is IMPORTANT to me.

THIS is what I want to teach. I want to open up God's Word and share the AMAZING author of wondrous thing. If I'm going to pour over a text and spend time and energy preparing to share information, I want it to MEAN something. I want it to be something WORTH sharing.

I also want time to devote to the passion that I have kept buried for years and years. I want time to write the stories that dance around in my head. I feel very strongly that God has a plan for me where writing is concerned. (I'll go ahead and say that I'm prepared for this too to be a direction that could lead somewhere other than being a full-time author.)

So.
I will have a degree, but more importantly, I'll have the education and the life experience that came with that degree.

God may call me to a classroom one day. If He does, I'll go.

For now, this chapter of my life is complete. I have but to turn the page and see what's coming next. I don't know what the future holds, and I'm not sure what paths I'll eventually travel, but I know one thing: I won't be alone, and it won't be meaningless.

Good night, everybody.
Until next time,
God bless!