Here I sit in the dark
All alone by myself
On a chair bound in ropes in the cold
There are sounds all around
In this cave where I am
I feel tired, I feel weak, I smell mold.
I hear the sound of the drops
Of the tears of this place
As they fall into pools of remorse
Add to these from the streams
That have dampened my face
I'm at sea without compass or course.
As a breeze fills the chasm
And I shudder and cringe
And withdraw fearing cold, pain and grief.
But I don't feel a thing
I don't know where it went
I'm filled with anger and with rage; not relief
So I scream in my rage
'Till my throat fears to tear
As my anguish compels me to do
Then my cry (at first wordless)
Is transformed in my ears
To the question "Oh my God, where are you?!"
It is then that I realize
In the dark in the cold
That I'm bound not in cords but in shame
I am sitting rejected
In this underground hole
And my Hope has forgotten my name.
Then the breeze once again
through the chasm returns
And this time I can feel its caress
At that moment all around
In that chasm: no sound
But the echoing breeze and my breath
So I scream (just to hear)
Maybe to frighten my fear
To that wind:"Why torment me this way?
Haven't I had enough pain,
Enough sorrow, enough shame?"
. . . .I hear a whisper, but of what I can't say.
And the breezes starts to fade
I hear the tears of the cave
All my rage breaks inside to despair
Now I sob in this pit
While my heart begs to quit
And I plead "Oh dear God! don't you Care?"
And the Breeze like a storm
Rushes in strangely warm
All at once I see light though it's dim
And then there on my face
I feel the Breeze's embrace
My heart gasps because I know that it's Him.
Then He says "I AM here
Peace, be still. Have no fear
I have been here though you haven't seen
Now cast off your shame
For I GAVE you MY name
Stand up now from that chair you've been in.
I AM He who brings light
And restores the blind sight
And for you this will easily be
You closed your eyes out of fear
That's what first trapped you here
So open your eyes, Child of Zion, and be free."
I now stand myself straight
Out from beneath a great weight
And my eyelids begin to spread wide
Here the vision for me
Not a chasm or sea
But a meadow,and mountains and sky.