A Matter of Perspective

I was praying and appologizing to God again about mistakes I'd made.  Seems like I was always apologizing about something.  I was just so desperate to be close to God, but I was always dealing with stuff.  

Then, with my eyes closed, I saw:

I was sitting at a table.  The table was white and stretched out in front of me.  On it were trophies and awards and prizes and such.  I knew right away that these represented the things I did right/ my accomplishments in life.  I didn't have a lot of time to appreciate them though, because there were other things, the kind of things that you don't put on a table, that obviously represented my sins, failures and mistakes.  There was just too much.  No matter where I looked the table would have trohphies, but ALWAYS there would be garbage or some ofther filth.  It was SOO frustrating!  All I wanted was to be close to God!  I just wanted to throw all of that other stuff away and be with God.

Then I heard:

"Turn around."

So I started to turn around.  This is when I realized that I was on a swivel chair.  And, as I turned around, I saw that the table only went around me as far as I could see IF I kept looking at the things on the table.  When I turned to see the source of the voice, (I knew it was God) the table stopped and there was a gap in it.  I stood up and fell to my knees in the lap/ arms/ embrace of my Father.  

God said "At any point in any day at any time you can turn your back on these things and be with Me.  Your life is a table that you cannot control, But I have made a way for you to be free of it to be with Me away from the things and worries there."

I have tried this in situations in life, when things got too tough and (though God had to remind me) when things were going well.  I stopped and closed my eyes and just looked for God.  No expectations but to find Him.  And He has met me every time.  It's like this bubble in the core of who I am, around the "real-est" me where God is there and nothing else matters.  In that moment the world outside the  "bubble" comes a little better into perspective.

I really love God, but what's way cooler than that is that He really loves me.

Those with ears to hear, LET THEM HEAR. 

            This is for EVERY ONE!

God Made Dirt; Dirt Don't. . . .

I heard this on the radio a long time ago:

Scientists had reached the peak of human development.  They now knew everything there was to know and had finally come to the conclusion that mankind no longer needed God.

So they went to God and said, "We don't need you anymore.  We know all there is to know and can do anything there is to do.  We want you to leave."

God being God and infinitely patient, looked at the scientists and said, "OK, let's have a contest.  You make a man in your own image, and I'll make one in Mine.  Whoever does it quickest and best wins, and the loser has to acknowledge that the winner doesn't need them."

The scientists talked this over and decided that this was an excellent idea.  So they set up a time with God for the contest and got down to business.   

On the day of the contest, God and the scientists met.  God looked at the scientists and said, "Are you ready?"

"Yes,"they replied.

"OK, GO!"

So the scientists bent down and began gathering up dirt, but God stopped them saying, "Hold on a second!"  The scientist looked at God, confused.  God looked back at them smiling and said,

 "Use your own dirt."

What People Will Trust. . .

A couple of years ago I was on my way to work. It was a 45 minute drive one-way but my employers were kind enough to provide me with a company vehicle. On one particular day, I happened to be thinking about the fact that it was a company vehicle and that if something were to happen while I was driving, it wouldn't be just me that would have to deal with the consequences. When I realized that I was thinking up "worst-case scenarios," I stopped and reminded myself that I hadn't been in an accident yet and not to "borrow trouble."
As soon as I thought the words "hadn't had an accident yet," I immediately "heard" half the people I knew saying "knock on wood." (It seems like people - yes, even Christians - are always saying stuff like that when you try to speak positively about your life. As if, if you aren't careful, you'll jinx yourself. *yech*) But, before I could do more than start to think how dumb the expression "knock on wood"is, I saw, in my mind's eye, a large beam of dark, rough and splintery wood. I still had the echo of "knock on wood" in my mind and I reached up to do it. As I did, the image of the beam "zoomed out" and I saw that the beam was the vertical beam of a cross. And as I looked, I saw Jesus' thorn pierced face turn and look at me, with eyes so sad and ironic, and he said:
"It's funny what people will trust, isn't it?"

Some trust in chariots, and some in horses: but we will remember the name of the LORD our God. Psalm 20:7

Not Forsaken!

When I was growing up, my family moved around a lot. My dad was in the Air Force, so where he went we went. Because of this, we changed churches a lot, and we pretty much had to choose from what was available. We didn't always end up in a church that believed quite the way my parents did, but usually the differences weren't big enough to pose a problem. There were a couple of things that I was taught that I took to heart that weren't scriptural. I didn't realize that at the time, so they messed with my head.

One of the things that I was taught was that "God can't be in the presence of sin. He is too good and righteous to exist in the presence of something so vile. If God were in the presence of someone with sin in their life, they would be blasted into nothing instantly. God even turned His back on Jesus when he was on the cross because He couldn't look on the sin Jesus was taking on for us." This was supposed to be backed up by the fact that Jesus said: "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"

Now, I was young, but I knew full and well that I had sin in my life, and if God would reject Jesus, who was only doing what God told him to do, then I was in BIG TROUBLE. I spent nearly 10 years in constant fear of God's sudden judgement and wrath. Then one day, I was reading in the Psalms and came across Psalm 22. This is what it says:

Psalm 22
For the director of music.
To the tune of "The Doe of the Morning."
A psalm of David.
1 My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?
Why are you so far from saving me,
so far from the words of my groaning?
2 O my God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer,
by night, and am not silent.
3 Yet you are enthroned as the Holy One;
you are the praise of Israel.
4 In you our fathers put their trust;
they trusted and you delivered them.
5 They cried to you and were saved;
in you they trusted and were not disappointed.
6 But I am a worm and not a man,
scorned by men and despised by the people.
7 All who see me mock me;
they hurl insults, shaking their heads:
8 "He trusts in the LORD;
let the LORD rescue him.
Let him deliver him,
since he delights in him."
9 Yet you brought me out of the womb;
you made me trust in you
even at my mother's breast.
10 From birth I was cast upon you;
from my mother's womb you have been my God.
11 Do not be far from me,
for trouble is near
and there is no one to help.
12 Many bulls surround me;
strong bulls of Bashan encircle me.
13 Roaring lions tearing their prey
open their mouths wide against me.
14 I am poured out like water,
and all my bones are out of joint.
My heart has turned to wax;
it has melted away within me.
15 My strength is dried up like a potsherd,
and my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth;
you lay me in the dust of death.
16 Dogs have surrounded me;
a band of evil men has encircled me,
they have pierced my hands and my feet.
17 I can count all my bones;
people stare and gloat over me.
18 They divide my garments among them
and cast lots for my clothing.
19 But you, O LORD, be not far off;
O my Strength, come quickly to help me.
20 Deliver my life from the sword,
my precious life from the power of the dogs.
21 Rescue me from the mouth of the lions;
save me from the horns of the wild oxen.
22 I will declare your name to my brothers;
in the congregation I will praise you.
23 You who fear the LORD, praise him!
All you descendants of Jacob, honor him!
Revere him, all you descendants of Israel!
24 For he has not despised or disdained
the suffering of the afflicted one;
he has not hidden his face from him
but has listened to his cry for help.
25 From you comes the theme of my praise in the great assembly;
before those who fear you will I fulfill my vows.
26 The poor will eat and be satisfied;
they who seek the LORD will praise him—
may your hearts live forever!
27 All the ends of the earth
will remember and turn to the LORD,
and all the families of the nations
will bow down before him,
28 for dominion belongs to the LORD
and he rules over the nations.
29 All the rich of the earth will feast and worship;
all who go down to the dust will kneel before him—
those who cannot keep themselves alive.
30 Posterity will serve him;
future generations will be told about the Lord.
31 They will proclaim his righteousness
to a people yet unborn—
for he has done it.

That first verse nearly stopped my heart. Jesus wasn't crying out to God for forsaking him, He was quoting scripture!!! Psalm 22 is a prophecy about the messiah! Jesus was encouraging himself in the WORD. In the middle of this terrible experience, he was reminding himself that God knew all of this would happen, that it was part of the plan and that this fit in with what God needed to make things right between men and Him again.

Romans 8:39 (New International Version)
39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Jesus was NOT FORSAKEN! AND NEITHER WAS I!!!!

This was the beginning of my journey to find out what God was really like. To find out for myself who God IS. I began this journey with TWO important points:
1 Even Jesus had to encourage himself with scripture in hard times. . . .
2 God LOVES me and He will always LOVE LOVE LOVE me!

And that goes for you TOO!!!!!

Name Change . . . 2

Well this is my best idea so far. I would appreciate feedback from anyone who is interested.